You probably think you’re already the best version you can be, but there is still the best version of yourself hidden somewhere right within you. Only a few people are conscious of this and not so many people actually become that best version of themselves.
To what range can you really work on improving yourself ?
I believe there are better versions of yourself which you haven’t discovered yet. On the journey to becoming the best version of ourselves, we must recognize the value of improving our feelings of self worth.
Brain scan studies demonstrates that when our self esteem is higher, we are likely to experience common emotional wounds such as failure & rejection as less painful and bounce back from them more quickly.
This Article Contains:
- What is the meaning of self-esteem? A definition of self-esteem.
- 10 surprising statistics & facts about self-esteem.
- 15 examples of high self-esteem and 15 examples of low self-esteem.
- 4 factors that influence self-esteem.
- 6 ways on how to build your self esteem.
- 15 quotes on self-esteem.
What is the meaning of self-esteem ?
Self esteem simply refers to a person’s overall sense of his or her value or worth. It can be considered a sort of measure of how much a person values, approves of, appreciates, prizes or likes himself or herself. Your actions, your reactions, your relationships, your physical & mental health are a reflection of your self-esteem. The truth is that your level of self esteem may have grown or shrunk based on how people have treated you or acted towards you in the past. It’s also based on the evaluations you’ve made about your life and your choices.
10 surprising statistics & facts about self-esteem.
- Low self-esteem is a thinking disorder, in which individuals view themselves as inadequate, unlovable, incompetent and so on.
- Low self-esteem is linked to violence, school drop out rates, teenage pregnancy, suicide & low academic achievement.
- Girls with high self esteem are three times more likely to delay sex than girls with low self esteem.
- (7) in (10) girls believe that they are not good enough or don’t measure up in some way.
- A girl’s self esteem is more strongly related to how she views her own body shape and body weight than how much she actually weighs.
- Only 2% of women think they are beautiful.
- Among high school students 44% of girls and 15% of guys are attempting to lose weight.
- About 20% of teens will experience depression before they reach adulthood.
- Nearly all women (90%) want to change at least one aspect of their physical appearance.
- Poverty, absent fathers & a low quality home environment have a negative impact on self-esteem.
These low self-esteem facts are actually alarming, but thankfully they’re not the majority. The whole story shows that there are many people with a healthy sense of self esteem. For example, people with healthy self-esteem:
- Are less likely to feel worthless, guilty and ashamed.
- Are more likely to be assertive about getting what they want.
- Are able to build strong, honest relationships and are more likely to leave unhealthy ones.
- Are more resilient and able to bounce back when faced with disappointment, failure and challenges.
- Are less critical of themselves and others.
15 examples of high self-esteem.
There are certain characteristics that distinguish high self-esteem & low self-esteem. For instance, people with high self-esteem:
- Appreciate themselves and other people.
- Enjoy growing as a person and finding fulfillment & meaning in their lives.
- Can easily concentrate on solving problems in their lives.
- Have loving & respectful relationship.
- Know what their values are and live their lives accordingly.
- Are able to dig deep within themselves & be creative.
- Speak up and tell others their opinions, calmly & kindly.
- Make their own decisions and conform to what others tell them to do only when they agree.
- Avoid dwelling on the past and focus on the present moment.
- Reject the attempts of others to manipulate them.
- Recognize and accept a wide range of feelings, both positive and negative, and share them within healthy relationships.
- Enjoy a healthy balance of work, play and relaxation.
- Learn from their mistakes when they fail.
- Handle criticism without taking it personally, with the knowledge that they are learning & growing.
- Value themselves and communicate well with others, without fear of expressing their likes, dislikes & feelings.
15 examples of low self-esteem.
Here are 15 examples of issues that can manifest from low self-esteem:
- You feel your opinion isn’t important.
- You please people.
- You’re easily angered or irritated.
- You doubt every decision.
- What you do is never good enough.
- You find it hard keeping relationships.
- You avoid taking risks or trying new things.
- You engage in addictive avoidance behaviours.
- You struggle with confidence.
- You find it difficult creating boundaries.
- You feel negative experiences are all consuming.
- You struggle to say ‘ No ’
- You give more attention to your weakness.
- You hold a pessimistic outlook on life.
- You compare yourself with others.
4 factors that influence your self-esteem.
It’s really essential to understand the factors that influence your self-esteem. Having low self-esteem can prevent you from becoming the best version of yourself. It can also prevent you from building healthy relationships, rising in your career & achieving set of goals.
- Did you have parents that gave you praise or were constantly critical of you?
- Did you get talked down by your teachers?
- Did you have teachers or coaches that supported you?
- Did your parents have healthy self-esteem themselves?
Think about all the people in your life growing up and how they might have influenced your self-esteem. If you eventually come up with negative influences, take the time to let go and put it behind you. Decide that now you’re in the driver seat of what influences your self-esteem.
We receive lots of messages from the society, consciously or unconsciously about how we should be. There are societal expectations of what job we should have, that we should be married by a certain age, what kind of clothes we wear and how much money we make. Don’t let the society dictate who you are and how you live your life. Look instead within yourself to come up with how you should live and who you should be. Make sure your expectations for yourself are realistic and healthy.
We are constantly being bombarded by advertisements everywhere we go. We are exposed to different messages from our television, on the radio, in magazines, on billboards, and pop up ads on our computers and smart phones.
- Have you ever stopped to think about what these messages are conveying to us ?
Sometimes, the media gets the subliminal message across, that you’re inadequate or not good enough and the way to feel better is to purchase the product they’re promoting. Start viewing advertisements with a different lens and remind yourself that the people in ads are models and have been photo shopped extensively.
According to studies published, social media has been linked to higher levels of loneliness, envy, anxiety, depression, narcissism and decreased social skills.
- 50% of people using social media, reported that it has negative effects on their relationship.
- 60% of people using social media, reported that it has impacted their self-esteem in a negative way.
- Are the people in your life supportive of you?
- Do they build you up or drag you down?
- Do they want the best for you & carry you along ?
Think about the people you spend your time with and contemplate whether they are contributing to you having a healthy self image of yourself or whether they are making you feel inadequate. If they are a negative influence, communicate to them how they could be more supportive and set healthier boundaries. Make an effort to start seeking friendships & relationships with people that are positive and supportive. The most important influential factor to your self-esteem is You!
Low socioeconomic status, living alone, unemployment, disability and social norms are linked to lower self-esteem.
6 ways on how to build your self-esteem.
There are a number of ways in which you can build your self–esteem.
- Affirm your real worth.
The following exercise has been demonstrated to help revive your self-esteem.
Make a list of qualities you have that are in the specific context. For example, if you failed to get a work promotion, list the qualities that make you a valuable employee. Then choose one of the items on your list and make a brief note about your reasons why the quality is valuable and likely to be appreciated by other people in the future. Do the exercise every day for a week & you’ll get your self-esteem boosted.
- Identify your competencies and develop them.
Self esteem is built by demonstrating real ability and achievement in areas of your live that matters to you. If you pride yourself on being a good runner, sign up for races & train for them. If you pride yourself on being a good programmer, learn more programming & coding, get certified. Just figure out your core competencies and find opportunities and careers that accentuate them.
- Eliminate self criticism and stop being a perfectionist.
Being self critical is going to damage your self esteem further. Since our goal is to enhance our self-esteem, we need to substitute self criticism with self compassion. Acknowledge both your accomplishments & mistakes, while learning and growing from your mistakes. Nobody is perfect, and trying to be will only lead to disappointment.
- Stop comparing yourself to others.
Comparing yourself to others is a trap that is extremely easy to fall into, especially today with social media, projecting a perfected appearance. The only person you should compare yourself to, is you.
Judge yourself according to your ability and let others judge you according to your works.Prince Praise
- Spend more time with supportive people.
The importance of good friends throughout our lives can not be underestimated. Generally, this increases your sense of belonging & purpose. Having close, supportive friends who rally behind you, celebrate your successes as their own, and leave you feeling better about yourself is tantamount to a life well lived. Supportive people help reduce stress and can even help us live longer.
- Be prepared.
To be prepared is half victory.Miguel De Cervantes
For whatever situation you are about to encounter, make sure you’ve prepared & practiced. Being prepared boosts your self-esteem and adds to your self confidence.
10 quotes on self-esteem.
- Your self-esteem is made up of your thoughts, feelings, and opinions of yourself and reflects your own worth. Hope these 10 quotes about self esteem will help you along your journey to get there:
As long as you look for someone else to validate who you are by seeking their approval, you are setting yourself up for disaster. You have to be whole and complete in yourself. No one can give you that. You have to know who you are—what others say is irrelevant.Henry James
One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.Michael J. Fox
Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.Maxwell Maltz
Once you embrace your value, talents and strengths, it neutralizes when others think less of you.Rob Liano
Dare to love yourself as if you were a rainbow with gold at both ends.Nic Sheff
You can’t let someone else lower your self-esteem, because that’s what it is—self-esteem. You need to first love yourself before you have anybody else love you.Mark Twain
Self-esteem is made up primarily of two things: feeling lovable and feeling capable. Lovable means I feel people want to be with me. They invite me to parties; they affirm I have the qualities necessary to be included. Feeling capable is knowing that I can produce a result. It’s knowing I can handle anything that life hands me.Winnie Harlow
Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.Howard Washington Thurman
Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.Brené Brown
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be ?Marianne Williamson
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